Sunday, September 25, 2011

Wait

Know those people in life who everything seems to happen for them as they wish in perfect timing?  Me too.  I'm not one of those people.  It is somewhat of a joke amongst my friends that everything in life  for me includes a "wait".  I don't mean wait in theory, I mean a literal response that includes the word "wait" either spoken or written.

In 2009 while unemployed, I can't count the number of times I heard "wait".  Not only related to a job, but to seemingly every circumstance in my life there is a wait.  So, what is it about waiting that can make me crazy, unsettled, question, lose confidence and believe something will never work out in my favor?

I've recently been reminded about waiting as I have sat hours alongside family in the hospital watching Brian as he laid in critical condition, came out of unconsciousness and began to heal.  Brian is the little brother of my growing up best friend Wendy.   Brian's not so little anymore as he's now 30 and stands over 6' tall.  He was just 15 when Wendy was killed in a car accident and their family is 2nd family to me, still 15 years later.  When I got the call while away on a Birthday-Weekend-Get-Away with my besties, I didn't know what circumstance would await upon my arrival at the hospital.

It seemed every day we were told to wait ... wait for a test, wait for a Dr, wait for a x-ray, wait for results, wait for body to heal ... all while sitting in the waiting room.  Oxymoron!?  When visiting a patient in ICU the visitor has to "scrub in" each visit, washing hands, donning a gown and gloves and "scrub out" upon exit, only to repeat anytime you entered the area.  We sought answers from Doctors and prayed and waited.  Brian was miraculously spared severe injury, despite multiple broken bones, major surgery and unknown recovery time.  While we waited, I prayed that God would heal him, that his spirits would be lifted and that he would know purpose for his life.  I am still praying those things, 6 weeks later tonight that I prayed on that first night.  He still has a long wait to recovery.

One thing we started while in the hospital was to journal the day, what we had been told by Drs, what tests were going on, what questions we had and ultimately finishing each day with "Good News".  It is amazing to take time in the uncertainty to recall the blessings.  Some days the good news was "no fever today"; other days it was "no change today"; for sometimes no progress is progress in itself.  Until you take time to reflect, you might miss status-quo as being good news.

What I have learned and am learning to this day as I am still sitting in the waiting room of a few areas of my life is that it matters most what you do with the right now.  Even while I'm waiting, I have a purpose, I have things to get done and I have more things than I can count to be thankful for.   In effect, I have to get up, scrub in and scrub out each day.  I don't always know how it's going to work out.  Sometimes it will work out better than I could have imagined - it did recently for me.  Sometimes it seems there is no possible way for it to work out, like all the cards are against you - but it still does work out.  Sometimes it doesn't work out and there is lesson to be learned.  Despite the wait, I can't let doubt steal my joy.  When I begin to doubt or lose my confidence to mere circumstance, mostly out of my control I remember:  "The one true God gives me strength; He removes the obstacles in my way." (Psalm 18:32 NET)  Thankfully, I am not in control and the more I submit to ultimate authority of Jesus, the less I worry in the wait.  The obstacles may or may not be removed, and maybe they were there for a purpose, perhaps to redirect or to stall.

I do know that despite the wait, I always have much to be thankful for.  As I sit here tonight, I am thankful in this day alone ...
  • for a healthy body that I pushed on a morning jog
  • for a church that taught a word that I will soak on this week, and weeks to come
  • for Sunday lunch with my besties
  • for a Sunday nap
  • for a good book to discuss while walking with one of my besties
  • for my family and a lengthy phone visit with my Mom
  • for a home that I enjoy and kitchen to make supper
  • for a job that I don't dread going to in the morning
  • for plans this week that I am looking forward to
and the list could go on ...

So, even when it seems nothing is working out, and the wait is eternal, scrub in and focus on the day ahead, close out the day with recognizing the good news, rest and be ready to scrub in again for the next day.  For one day the wait will be over.  Most likely though, there will be something else to wait on, so remember to use time wisely and seek out purpose in the wait.

{originally posted 2011on The Black and White Truth}

Waiting,
Angie