Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Boxes


With a lock in my hand and one last glimpse inside, I closed the door, turned the key and locked up most everything I own in a 12' x 12' box praying it would all be safe inside until I returned to retrieve it.   The boxes of my life have been in what feels like mass chaos for the month of April, including work, home, family and relationships.

An abrupt end to my work box started the shake up of life in April.  The world we live in is harsh economically and the small business makes decisions that one will never understand.  Despite this, I have updated my resume, started networking and submitting applications all within 24 hours of a lay-off.  This too shall pass, I am healthy, have family who supports me and opportunity to do anything I want ahead of me.  I am blessed.

As I looked around my apartment and took inventory of boxes and crates that I had packed containing virtually all of my possessions, I thought about the books  and studies having taught me and molded me to where I am today.  The dishes I have shared with friends and family over meals and parties.  The frames with smiling faces of my friends and family whom I cherish.  The mementos and gifts around my home each with meaning and significance.  On and on.  The box of home is packed away for now.

While I have been out of work, I have been able to travel with my Mom to see my Papa, who's also recently had his boxes shaken up.  From complete independence at 86 years old to complete dependence in less than a month's time.  Due to health decline, he left his home to the hospital and now lives in a room in a nursing home, dealing with physical, mental and emotional change in life, everything he knew turned upside down.

In January I met a guy, one you instantly start a conversation with that times flies by before you realize how long you've been chatting and wondering how chance could introduce two people.  One who I like, one who had similar values to me, one who was a friend - someone I truly enjoy spending time with, one who I wondered where this would take us.  A box that has also been turned upside down.

This is life, when it seems everything is going along with all boxes in order and feeling content, everything can be ripped out from under you, young or old.  Despite feeling like I'm living out of a box, I know the one box that is most important to me will stand the test of everything else, my faith.  There are times we put things of life in a box, seal them up and stow them away.  More often though, the things of life don't fit in a box, the top won't close neatly and we can't put them away.  Life doesn't fit in a box.  I know despite feeling like my life is in 12' x 12' storage, life is lived outside of the box.  Only when I put my faith in the One who sees April as no surprise can I continue to pursue making sense of my boxes, how and where they will be unpacked and settled next.