#write31days - Oct 26 - WAITing in the silence

"We'll get back to you in a week or so" 

"I will call you." 

Oh, if I could count the times I've WAITed in the silence, it is so so many times. This WAIT is one that makes the mind come up with the worst of lies.

Unworthy. 

Unqualified. 

Undesired. 

Not liked. 

Not good enough. 

Undeserving. 

Not worth it. 

LIES.  All of it is LIES.  There is not even a smidge of truth in any of those words, or any other you have told yourself or I have told myself. No matter what kind of silence you or I WAIT through, our worth DOES NOT change based on the lack of someone else's communication.

You're qualified for the job, but a better one might be out there.
You're worthy of a promotion, but another company might come your way with an even better offer.
You're beautiful{handsome for the couple of guy readers} and worth pursuing.
You deserve truth and not excuses.

And, so do I. 

But, we're human. 

It's funny how that one response can all the sudden change our moods, and bring back our self-worth, value and confidence. Just because someone responded when we've been WAITing in silence. That worth is a lie. It is placed on someone else, not on who I am {you are} and what I was {you are} created for and to do.

Even God makes us WAIT in silence sometimes. This might be the hardest of all. Because I {you} think we can DO something that will speed it all up and work out in quicker timing. Oh, how I've tried to manipulate this.  One thing I've known, but had to re-learn over and over is what is right and meant to be WILL be. It doesn't need me to manipulate it.

I said it a few days ago, this type of WAIT has taught me to instead of seeing it as a stop, to choose to believe. That though I can't see it, details I don't know are being orchestrated. Whether they come to pass soon, or I have to WAIT {which I have done over and over and over}, it is my choice to believe God, for my soul to seek Him (remember "WAIT" defined from the beginning of the month?) instead of my own doing. If I am seeking God and believing Him, obedient to what He's called me to be, there is no room for the lies or work I do on my own.

I have also learned that God is not afraid of my questions. Read any Psalm? It is pretty much an entire book of David wrestling with God and asking questions and working out his faith. Remember Jesus on the cross? "My God my God, why has thou forsaken me?" Mark 15:34.  If God's own Son can ask THAT, he's certainly not afraid of my questions. These were the last words of Jesus. He died on the cross at the silence of God, who could have saved him. BUT, before He even when there He prayed and submitted himself, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” Luke 22:42.

So, He knew, if there was silence, He trusted the Father's will.

When the minutes, hours, days and weeks of WAIT in silence are agonizing, I have to go back to who's will I'm seeking.  Often it is my own, with my own hope attached. Then I reset, submit and trust no matter how long the silence lasts, I know I can believe Father's will for me, because He is fighting for me, and that just might be for my trust of Him before the rest can be revealed.