There is something about the vulnerability of being able to meet up with those who matter most to you and come really as you are.
A vulnerability that we often mask in dating when we put our best selves forward and never really peel back the layers. Maybe because we're scared someone will run if they see the "real me", whatever that means for you, without makeup or exposed heart and story.
Know this: if they run, they aren't right for you.
In any relationship that has any depth to last any amount of years, there has to be vulnerability for there to be real connection. This applies in our best and dearest of friends and in any dating relationship, because hopefully that person is a friend who becomes a best friend and the dearest one to your heart.
That will never happen without vulnerability.
This can be a little risky, to know when to open up or when is right to tell your "story", but really, get it out there. Because if it matters to you and is who you are, they should begin to know the real you.
Remember this: if they run, they aren't right for you.
So, whatever it is for you, going on a date without makeup on one day, or finally feeling courageous enough to talk about something you've feared bringing up. Because if they are the one for you or for me, once married they will wake up next to us for the rest of our lives and our makeup isn't always going to be on and we have to have the hard conversations, avoiding them will only drive a deep wedge in the relationship.
Believe this: if they run, they aren't right for you.
Since it's Friday night, often if you're S I N G L E you can feel alone on the weekend. I've definitely felt like that in seasons, that "everyone else is with someone, except me". But, tonight if I was currently dating someone these are the things I would have to talk about...
not doing as well as I wanted to on a final exam for my class, feel a little defeated
feeling burdened for a friend who's wife is in her final days in hospice care
the fact that a headache has lingered with me for a couple of days
that I am pretty tired from this week that included several late nights
that I don't want to get dressed to go out anywhere
that someone is a frustrating leader and it bothers me
feeling like I'm trying to balance a lot of things
None of which is bright and cheery and well put together. But, all of which is real and what is going on in my life and those in my circle and affects me right now. Tomorrow is a new day and with a good night's sleep a couple of those won't seem nearly as significant, but today that is what's going on.
Believe me, I know, if any of that would make someone run tonight, I know the real me doesn't need them. Even when realizing that what you (or I) thought was really good isn't, it's hard to take, and makes you (& me) feel like needing emotional support is wrong. It is not wrong.
You (I) deserve the real you (me) to be loved well.
Whether you're all put together or feeling like tears might brim over because life is hard right now.
If it is hard and you do feel alone, my encouragement to you is this...
pray.
I know that can seem cliche.
But, I can promise, God knows the real you better than anyone else ever will.
He will never run.
and, you will need Him, even when you find the one.
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| Today looks much like this night, except I haven't cried today. From FB in 2014 after attending the funeral for one of my besties father: "Real life....headache, glasses on, makeup off, hair in a bun, cried today, weary but full heart...love your people, live your life now, you may have later and you may not." |
Never apologize for the real you.
If you're just joining in from #write31days, I'm so glad you're here!
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